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Sunday, 24 January 2010

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Fonny ‘bowls’ Captain Cool

The Y12 aircraft hired to Fonny and company for the Koggala rally had more than the maximum limit of 15 persons. But Fonny insisted that he needs a comfortable ‘double’ and the organisers decided to drop one of his bodyguards to settle the issue.

An angry Fonny said he cannot make it without the bodyguard who was to be dropped from the tour party. Then he perused the list of passengers on board and pointed out Captain Cool’s name. “Even if he makes the trip for the rally, he talks only for three minutes. It is not worth wasting a seat on such a person. He has joined us because he had no place in his party. If he is really keen, let him come by car,” Fonny said.

Rescue operation

A ship from Uncle Sam’s country is anchored in international waters near Sri Lanka to rescue Fonny after Tuesday’s defeat. Fearing that he will have to face the consequences for the greatest betrayal and would be court-martialled, Fonny has already ‘booked’ accommodation at a leading foreign mission in Colombo on election night.

Foreign survey

A team of Western deep-low-mats held a closed door meeting with Ra-Blue to share intelligence reports they had gathered through various methods. Not a single survey had indicated victory for Fonny. But Ra-Blue asked the deep-low-mats not to publicise the results as it would have a negative impact on their campaign. “That is why we met you with the results,” one deep-low-mat told Ra-Blue.

Political aspirations

Even before election date, the Opposition alliance had been hit by a serious power struggle. While Soome-1-sa claims that they should have Anura Prince as the Pee Em, the Greens insist that they would not settle for anybody other than Ra-Blue. It seems that Fonny would play his own card by getting his namesake to judge. Fortunately, for the nation, all would end up in the losing camp.

Future plans

Ra-Blue had called his inner circle members Sa-Rock, Vaj-Abey and Ah-Killer to discus future plans. “Obviously some seniors would conspire to sack me after the defeat and try to bring the General or someone else. Don’t let that happen. You must insist that it was the General who has lost and that it is he who must quit. Tell the seniors that I would have polled more votes than this man had I contested,” Ra-Blue told his blue-eyed boys.

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