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Sunday, 23 May 2010

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Dear Erica

Dear Erica,

I am a 17 year-old school girl who is about to sit for the AL exam soon. The problem is that for a few days, I have this guy following me in the bus halt on my way to school. Heís very rich and has a convertible car which seems to impress everyone, including my friends! He has eyes only for me and always stops in his car to talk to me. Heís not a bad guy but very much older, in his 30s. I feel like he wants to have a good time with me but not for love. Iím not really even love with him even though he says he is in love with me!

Recently he asked me to go to a movie with me but I know I wonít have permission because my parents are strict and my exam is nearing and I need peace and quiet to study. I have told him this but he asked me to sneak out which I donít like doing because Iím a decent girl. Of late, heís been a pain and I wish heíll just leave me alone but he always tries to convince me. Please help!

Not in love

*****

Dear Not in love,

Even though youíre not in love with him, you may be tempted in going out with him or talking to him because you and your friends find him impressive. Besides the more you engage in conversations with him the more possibility of crossing your lines.

Another fact is that if a guy is genuinely interested in getting to know you he would always give priority to your respect and never tell you to sneak out your house in order to be with him. As a first step, you need to avoid this guy. Maybe you can change your bus stand or bus times, so that he will soon get tired of coming that way and not finding you there.

And donít forget you have exams coming up your way and you donít want to mess around with your future. After all, your life is worth than a free ride in a convertible, right? Good luck girl and be steady with what you follow!


Dear Erica,

I am a 14 year-old girl. I love this guy who was a prefect in our school. At first when I saw him I did not feel anything for him but later he caught my eyes. After his graduation, he got entrance to a university in England and he went! Once I got a chance to contact him. I told him about the love I have for him but he replied saying that ďI donít share the same feelings you have for meĒ. I wasnít sad because I knew that would be his answer. But now I am struggling to get over him. How can I move on? Please give me some advice to forget him!

-Lovestruck

****

Dear Lovestruck,

Itís a good thing that you managed to say the three words to him at least after he left because then itís out of your system and you feel good about letting the other person know how you really felt. Also, you were mentally prepared for the answer he gave you, accepted it and now itís time to move on.

Youíre just 14, an age that you will go through loads of emotional changes, infatuations, attractions and will be struck by love (at least you would believe it to be so) but at the same time there are other priorities and interests that you need to take care of and work on. Get back to your life, make friends, follow your dreams and find some activities to do. Iím sure you will be able to get over this guy soon.

All the best!


Dear Erica,

I am an 18 year old boy sitting for my A/L exam this August. I met with a nasty incident at the end of last year due a fault of mine. My math teacher magnified it and punished me rudely in front of my classmates. I accepted it joyfully even though it was painful.

When I went home with the punishment wound, my parents were very worried and angry.

They met my teacher and the principal at the parentsí meeting and the problem was made bigger. Now the whole school looks at me as if Iím an alien.

When something wrong happens to my math teacher, it gives me pleasure. I know this is wrong and very sinful but I canít control myself because I hate school so much. Please Help.

Punished

*******

Dear Punished,

Itís very unfortunate that you had to go through such a bad experience during school. But then you do accept that the fault was on your part and that you deserved the punishment. On the other hand, deep within, you mustíve felt shame, regret, anger or resentment about the situation due to the fact that you had to go through it in front of your class. In addition, your familyís involvement and the rest of the school getting to know about it contributed to your uneven state of mind.

If it gives you pleasure to see your teacher in an uncomfortable situation, does this mean that youíve not forgiven them yet? Or is it that youíre looking for some sweet revenge? Whatever the reason, you have to let go of the past. I know itís not easy to forget and on top of all to forgive. But then when you let go of the past and forgive, you will find yourself less stressful, angry, depressed and resentful.

How is your relationship with your teacher after the incident? I think you should break the ice and make some eye contact and maybe start by saying a little good morning. Talk to someone (maybe your best friend at school) regularly about how you feel and share your feelings. The moment that your mind is clear and youíre ready to move on, everything else will fall into place. You will find it easier to concentrate in your studies and get back to your usual self at school. Stop blaming yourself for what happened or what you might be thinking. It takes time for wounds to heal and it definitely will if you open up your heart to it!

Ericaís Quote of the Week

ďThe average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead!Ē

- Roberty Brault

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