Monica de Alwis
Humble, modest and elegant
Monica Marion Phyllis De Alwis peacefully clasped the blessed hands of Almighty God, after a life of 96 years on Thursday, 6 April. She was the precious life partner of the late senior attorney-at-law Lucian A.P. De Alwis JPUM. Monica De Alwis was the third of 12 siblings in the family of the departed well known criminal lawyer Chevalier C.L.W. Perera and the late Esther Perera of Kurunegala.
Amma was the doting mother of five sons and six daughters; and fond grandmother to 25 children, and great grandmother of 14. Amma was the doyen and matriarch of an extended family circle comprising, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and executives. She hailed from a lineage of gentility and repute in a conservative ardent catholic background. She was humble, modest and elegant in attire, religious and zealous with no false airs and cultivated demeanours. Her graceful and pleasing way was the hallmark of her interactions in society with relations, friends, the clergy and colleagues. She was faithful to her late husband and supported him in all endeavours, be it family matters or professional needs. They were a close knit family, heightened by understanding and trust. Amma actively joined Thaththa in providing the requirements of the family. She maintained a spic and span household with order and décor. Her domain was of course the kitchen, where she prepared balanced and healthy food with care and attention. Amma’s culinary skills were prominently displayed on important and significant occasions with a well laid out grilled and garnished table carrying sumptuous dishes. Featured among them was her appetizing smoked beef and delicious seenisambol.
The highlight of the marriage of Thaththa and Amma was the celebration of their golden wedding anniversary in 1994 at the Mount Lavinia Hotel with family and friends, beginning with a Mass of Thanksgiving. The golden era continued for a further five years and ended in 1999 with the demise of Thaththa. Consequent to her husband’s death Amma lived in prayer, remembrance and gratitude for 18 long years with love, care and support surrounded by a grateful family.
Amma nurtured a pleasant outdoor environment with exotic plants paying special attention to flowers. Befittingly, her bier was adorned with clusters of varied hues of fragrant roses and dahlias. Her prowess with the needle was the exponent of a unique talent. Her nimble and swift fingers transformed colourful creations of embroidery handiwork which attracted the admiration of many. The image of Santa Claus impressed in thread on chair covers are yet exhibited at Christmas. The bedspreads meticulously worked out in patterns of appropriate designs and motifs are still preserved as family heirlooms.
Another aspect of Amma’s life was her respect, concern, and assistance to others, including orphanages and elders’ homes. In consideration of others’ needs and acknowledgement of their success, she moved sincerely with friends, not forgetting their birthdays and anniversaries. Amma also took pleasure in presenting gifts and memorabilia at appropriate times. Unforgettable are the splendid Christmas get-togethers when Santa Claus called out our names to hug us with a gift.
Thank you Amma for the memories you have left us and for the good times we shared.
The obsequies were conducted by Rev.Fr. Bonnie Fernandopulle and Rev. Fr. Sriyan Ranasinghe OMI, and the mortal remains laid to rest in her husband’s grave at the Mount Lavinia cemetery.
May Amma be at peace
- Ronnie
Ashley Nihal Wickrema
Work and planning always meticulous and neat
Relative to my father’s eight siblings, I may have known him far less than the years I walked on this earth, since my earliest memories commenced from the age of three. However, Thatha was the one that anchored me through my childhood and well into my chosen career.
Thatha lost his dad at the age of ten. He fondly remembered how he had asked his dad for a cricket bat, and his dad had made a journey to Colombo in order to fulfil this wish. Thatha would constantly remind us about the pivotal role his eldest brother and eldest sister played in stabilizing and guiding the rest of the siblings.
Thatha never forced me or any of my elder siblings to focus on grades alone. We were often asked to show initiative, read books, and take part in sports. Whenever I showed him my grades, he would ask, without looking at the grades, “Did you do your best?” That was enough for him. Since Thatha came from a large family, grocery supplies had to be more specifically spelt out as he would still buy (on habit) for a family of 10 or 15. I remember telling him once that I loved a certain liquid yoghurt from a nearby farm. I ended up drinking two dozen bottles over a summer.
Thatha completed his engineering degree in 1961 (University of Ceylon), and remained close with his batch mates, attending annual get-togethers. He worked in several civil engineering projects in many countries and last worked as a Director at Hovael(Pvt) Ltd. He loved his work and there was always a glint in his eyes when he went to work. Thatha taught us all many important values. On attention to detail, he would say, “keep your eyes on the ball, you can never catch the ball if you get distracted, concentrate on the job until it’s finished, then relax”. On life, “Family first, work second.”
By his actions, he showed us the power of prayer, he would always say a prayer, portrayed next to the door, before he went to work. Thatha was also quite interested in us reading the Bible at home and discussing it. When we discussed important matters, we were all on equal basis, and he was transparent as regards any challenges or difficulties. His work and planning was always meticulous and neat, and he stressed on a neat desk.
Thatha had many interesting experiences culled from his elder siblings that he rarely talked about, such as his sports, boxing, and educational achievements. This often made us realize how important humility is. If there was one anecdote he would never tire of, was his postgraduate experiences in his twenties when he studied in Italy. The week before he passed away, I set up the scrabble board, not knowing it would be the final time. I had uploaded several new apps and anagram generators to help me beat Thatha. I was supremely confident that I would finally beat him, but I couldn’t.
My fiancé and I miss him along with my mother, my siblings, brother-in-law, Thatha’s siblings and his extended family, friends, and colleagues.
Rev.Sr Cynthia gave us a prayer card that embodied my final sentiments, “Because someone we love is in heaven, there’s a little bit of heaven in our home.”
- Gerard Wickrema