Swaminathan also gets a call | Sunday Observer

Swaminathan also gets a call

So, last week was all about calls wasn’t it? Siripala was frightened to answer a call from any unknown number. Can’t say no men, what if this Aloysius bugger decides to give Siripala a call and say “machang, next time you write put something nice about me ah”. Can never say with the CIS types. Sweet talk and flattery is how they kill- or rather make a killing, no.

Anyway, it was time for the Minister that is Prime to walk into the Commission that is Bond. Siripala was told that the entire state sector came to a standstill, why men, every man in the Cabinet had to mark “ present” at the Bond Commmission, no.

And the seats were all full. Guess who calmly strolls in then? Our “Elowatath nethi, Melowatath nethi Swami”. He actually doesn’t know if he’s coming or going even in real life. He looked this way for a seat- no seat. He looked that way for a seat- no seat. Then finally he found a seat behind the Attorney General’s Department lawyers, right near where all the action was happening.

The heat may have got to him and he was heard complaining one after another about the heat and right then the man of the moment took the stand. Swami couldn’t be standing, why men he also like the others came to put a “present sir” no. So no point suffering by standing when the man can’t see right?. And then the Premier was hitting one ball after the other out of the park and was the only voice heard in the room.... until...................

Trrriiing.., triiiiiiinggg... Swami boys phone started ringing haha. And no it was the usual triing trinngg that was heard. Swami boy had a too cool for school ringtone, ah. Some rap or rock song and the bloody thing started playing for a good 15 seconds. Swami was tapping here and tapping there to get the bloody thing to shut up but to no avail. The rings were going. Until finally Swami boy found the button to silence his little phone.

But Siripala wasn’t surprised one bit. For the man that is in charge of prisons had never heard about the massacre in the prison, or that the death row inmates have a much raw deal than a normal inmate, Siripala understands that he couldn’t have known how to put the phone on silent mode.

Fonny Boy cold shouldered

So Fonny boy was given some post in the Elephant’s party and all no. The former General and Field Marshal and Presidential candidate and what not wasn’t he. So again, everyone in the Cabinet from the big wigs to the small wigs, to the andareys and the upasakas all were at the Commission that is Bond waiting to put a “yes sir, I was here”, before the Premier.

Fonny was no exception. He also decided to stroll in, although late. All the seats were taken so, by this one and that. A few minutes earlier though a somewhat junior MP was seated right in front with Malik and the gang. Suddenly he realised that Kabir boy from Kegalle was sitting in the second row and he promptly got up and invited Kabir to the front. Similarly, all the junior ones stood up and gave way to senior ones and everyone exchanging pleasantries and all seats taken.

The seats were taken not only by the Ministerial types but by the staffers and, this aunty and that uncle too. In walked Fonny boy, and not a single one stood up to offer the seat. Siripala didn’t even see pleasentaries exchanged. Everyone went about chatting to each other like nothing happened. Fonny tried to find a seat but all were taken and not a single one wanted to give him their seats even. Sin Aney. Siripala felt sorry for the man, after all the UNPers had no hope and this man stuck his neck out for them and wore the jumper. But nothing doing for our boys. They continued like nothing happened, until some security boy pulled a chair and seated the man right at the back.

Such is life isn’t it. Tsk tsk.

Gota and the never happening arrest

So, as soon as the Yahapalanaya types took office we were all told “ Gotabaya and everyone will face for the crimes they committed” weren’t we? none at all no. Siripala has actually come to think that we were reading fairy tales. No one was murdered, no money plundered, no abductions, no Mig deals. All a big fairy tale like Red Riding Hood, ah. Why men, if not these fellows should be kept in solitary confinement for the rest of their lives in any decently run country no? but not in Paradise isle.

So now Siripala also wants to do something. Well not murder and abduct. Sirpala can’t do Mig deals also, no?. But what can Siripala do? He can build a small museum for his parents no?But Siripala can have something like that can’t he? only thing is it has to be with his money no. He can’t go and tell the tax payer- here give me some money to open a museum for mama and papa can he? he’l get a good bloody Kaney if he does that.

Gota did exactly that, but no Kaney, or no Athuley. He is still there walking high and mighty. Sin for Gota mama and Gota papa though. Some people must be saying prayers of remembrance every other night for them no.

Banana Boy and the banana’s twist

So Banana Suji lost the plot didn’t he? blasting the Commission that is Bond and the President that is not bonded, he went on a rant.

“ Aney I called to get information for the book men” he told everyone who was willing to listen. So the boy put 227 hello how are yous with Aloysius, na. Siripala thinks that was a valid excuse ah. Like the man who went on top of the Kithul tree, this was also a valid excuse, if not for....

If not for the fact that Banana boy wrote the damn book in July 2015.. The calls happen after, 63 after July 2016. Haiyo Haiyo Banana boy. He’s got his Banana in a very good twist no.