Pickpockets and what not | Sunday Observer

Pickpockets and what not

Last week, all the news was rife with stories about Pickpockets, wasn’t it? Siripala remembered the years gone by, when any crowded bus had an amazingly skilled guy who’d take your wallet, without you having even a basic knowledge about how it all happened. Suddenly you check your wallet to give the money to the conductor- lo and behold, the bloody thing is missing.

Mammaley Marikkar, is known to put his foot in the mouth, no. Not that he has anything to do with the Green party, but rather he was the prop up boy for the real “ Maha- Raja”- and not the Mara kind, ha ha.

So, here he was trying to tell our Prez himself that he was a pickpocket. How Mammalley thought he could get away with that, beats me.

But, the reality is really very different, no. Mammaley and the gang had no strings to hang on when, the Prez said “ yes I will” and he together with the Premier pulled out what was the greatest victory from the jaws of defeat, while Mammaley was doing his poster boy stunts for “Maha- Raja”.

Silence my boy, silence is the best remedy- especially, when you have really no substance.

The media moguls and their business

So Anura Kumara, our Red man, was invited to a TV program on none other than Dilith boy’s channel. Not that we don’t know how they all made their money, pumping and dumping like it was no man’s business back in 2012, remember. That Greg share, my God- from Rs 8 it shot up to 180 in three days ha ha. That’s how the stock market became what it was.

Anyway, Kumara was asked questions on his stance, and man, didn’t he take on the media . “ I don’t want to embarrass you all, but let me just give you some of the data. Is that ok?” he asked a bewildered interviewer, before taking out a detailed list of newscasts.

And then he lashed out- all media owners have a political agenda and it really has nothing to do with politics, rather it has a lot to do with making the “moolah” isn’t it.

Money, money, money, for all of them to be singing “I’ve got money, lots and lots of money “ instead of Calloways evergreen hit “ I want money, lots and lots of money”- atta boy, Anura, Atta!

A short lived Party

So, last week Siripala was overwhelmed, finally, someone had the balls to say, “Let’s get to 2018 and treat a woman as a human being and therefore equally”. But what short lived joy that was, no.

Come to think of it, Siripala thinks this whole female thing didn’t need to be brought out at all. What men, any man walking into these “Karaoke Bars” in Colombo will know that all the women dancing there and serving in them are from far off villages. Exploited, and slaved, they have to dance and do the doing for the well spending businessmen don’t they, You won’t find ‘Colomba gaanu’ inside these clubs, would you?

That’s how reality works. So, instead of alleviating these exploitative conditions, what the gazette really did was bring to the fore a really forgotten archaic law. Who knew that women can’t buy booze until this damn thing, men? Siripala has seen every woman who wants to have a drink go up to the bar and buy the drink she wants - except now, the boy at the cashier can say, “No, you can’t maa’m” thanks to the repealed and further repealed gazette, no.

What to do- sometimes in Paradise land things have to be done differently, things have to, and for that, we need politicos in touch with reality. A good reality dose stepping into one of these Karaoke clubs would really do a world of good- for everyone to see how our women ‘are being worshipped and held in high esteem’.

The all natural call

So Mahinda maama jumped into the bandwagon to ask how long does a call of nature last. Now what Mahinda mama doesn’t know is, nature’s calls do not only mean his toiletful thinking, no.

Any reaction, is really natural and when you get pissed off or want some time for yourself, that is also natural.

The only thing unnatural about human reactions is when you kill someone and make his natural death artificial. Like the ones Mahinda mama and the rest did, for years. That’s what is artificial ah- and there was no coming back.

For Lasantha, and the hundreds of others there was no coming back. The call lasted for eternity.