It has been said, old is the new young, like grey is the new black; with the advances made in medicine, healthy living and food habits, there is an increasing population of elders among us. Many of them are alone and lonely, as their children have sought and found greener pastures, far away from our shores and return only on holiday.
Their plight was first recognized many decades ago, when it was not as serious a problem as it is today, by the late Sita Seneviratne, daughter of the late Sir Francis Molamure, first Speaker in our first Parliament and the late Lady Adeline Molamure, our first Lady Senator. It is with a great deal of pride that I state that both Sita and her mother were past pupils of my Alma Mater, Bishops College. Our school motto is ‘ NonSibiSed Omnibus’ which means ‘not for self but for all’ Under the auspices of The Ceylon Social Service League which had reached out to the under privileged in many ways, including those which were for women and children, Sita found that as much as children who are our future deserved care, it should also be lavished on reaching out to lonely senior citizens as a priority. This was first begun by sending transport and bringing people who needed company to a place where they would enjoy a morning of fellowship in each other’s company.
Today, this thought has inspired a dedicated group of women to start the Sri Lanka Association of Senior Citizens, targeted at both men and women over fifty in age. There are just a few centres; one in Colombo at St Paul’s Milagiriya Hall, and in Panadura, Rajagirya and Kandy where people come on their own to spend a happy morning with others who have similar problems, they have chats, compare notes and learn from each other, of ways and means to handle their loneliness.
The Milagiriya centre which is open house for members every Friday morning, which I have visited often, has about a hundred members on their list, although there are between sixty and seventy members, who come regularly each week on a Friday morning.They are provided with light refreshments, and a wide array of indoor games to choose from.
They play scrabble which is a very popular game, bridge, 304, and carom. On some days, quiz programs and sing alongs are organized, and a table is provided for those who have items they make or produce, which are for sale. This is an added incentive, as it keeps them occupied at home, shows them they are capable at making things which others need and is also a means of earning extra money. On special occasions, like the Sinhala and Tamil New Year and Christmas, they organize special events with a Chief Guest, prizes are awarded for the Avurudhu Kumari and Kumaraya at the New Year event and the singing of Christmas carols at Christmas.
It will be good for word to be spread around for more such centres to be started in all parts of the country, where lonely people can meet, when often the seeds of firm lifelong friendship are planted.
This would reduce depression and other ailments, stemming from loneliness, which can lead to more serious illnesses and sometimes, even a descent into senility.The Sri Lanka Association of Senior Citizens are ready, willing and able to help with advice for anyone interested in reaching out to the elderly and lonely in starting centres, ones which seem to be far too few. Some elderly have suffered the death of a spouse and with the children away, they have no-one to talk to, lend them a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to lean on.This kind of loss is like losing a limb which has been amputated, leaving one less than whole. This is a time when loneliness becomes constant, memories become companions and darkness becomes a haven for fantasies.
Reaching out to those in this category leads to the spontaneous, non obligatory caring for one another, the give and take of those who have no-one of their own around to care for them. This could also be a pivotal point on the road to emotional recovery for them. Unfortunately, society today is attuned to youth and beauty, seniors don’t seem to rate on that scale, but whatever walk of life they may come from, they do have a wealth of experience to impart, written on their faces. When those of about the same age meet, it’s not only for companionship, but reassurance plays a great part as well.One of the rewards of being old is that everything passes and changes. Age doesn’t prevent you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.
The ladies who run these centres for the elderly and lonely are on a regular mission of mercy. Reaching out to others in distress, makes one forgets one’s own problem which seem trivial by comparison.
‘For every person who has ever lived there has come at last a spring he will never see. Glory then in the springs that are ours’ Pam Brown.