Are you that idle talker? | Sunday Observer

Are you that idle talker?

Everywhere gossips exist; it has become a part of our daily conversation. From political page to sports news it’s about gossips. Gossip is there at home, school, work place, parties, its everywhere in the air. The fact I wanted to bring out is that the word gossip is stereotyped. When a question arises who gossiped the fingers are pointed at women. Men become oblivion. So let me play the revelio charm to make the invisible, visible.

In a conversation two things happen. Small talks like how are you? How is your day? How is your work? What’s up? ...Etc. its literally small talk to which much attention is not given. How many of you honestly answer to the question ‘how are you?’ Everyone knows that nobody does.

Gossips are conversation that usually two people put their full attention to. They move closer, lean in and start talking.

Gossip is the portmanteaus of two old English word ‘God’ and ‘sibb’- God sibling. A Godsibb is someone very intimate to you- a Godparent of one’s child with whom you trust and wanted to speak familiarly. Later on it took gender undertone of a person, mostly women as ‘newsmongers’, ‘idle talk’.

Do men gossip? Usual answer of most men is ‘nope, men don’t gossip they just talk things’. What are these ‘things’ they talk about? Well, about sports and stuffs! Isn’t it so clear that ‘things’ in other words is ‘gossips’?

While some men accept the fact that they gossip, some others deny it rather than say that it’s a women thing. It is part of our nature as humans to gossip. Is there any reason to deny it?

“In my perspective men don’t gossip unless they are jobless; when they are busy they don’t have time to gossip. Instead give terse reply for any questions.” shares 23- year- old Shaika Razick.

It can be both men and women; either of them chooses to talk about everything only with their close ones. It’s a part of relationships. It helps them to build trust, intimacy and promise between your best friend, closest colleagues, and your confidante. It fosters friendship because it involves imaginative expression. Gossip does not always involve false rumours that endanger a person life; today it’s a normal conversation that all humans engage in. Hence, men do not need to hesitate in accepting the fact that they gossip or tittle-tattle.

“Men usually gossip when they go out for a wedding or a party with a gang. They talk about girls they see and comment.

Planning to find a crush or trying to make their friends as goat slaughtering saying like she’s looking at you, try to impress her, stuff like that. We talk about celebrity gossips, new movies. Give nickering comment to those girls who show big scenes. Blabber about past love, failure in career, education. Finally yes, we gossip but only with our close friends,” says Faraj Fazal, a Sales Executive.

Hana Fazlul says, “Yes, they do. They belong to two categories, boy’s gossip about silly things, especially about girls and men gossip about the whole world; naming it as news... Frankly speaking, boys are most of the time commenting how girl’s dresse, her structure, appearance and who they are in love with and who is she dating and so on...

Basically, boys will know all the details about the girls who live down the lane and as the main source they get information via GOSSIP. And talking about grown up boys; men they are a bit advanced that they gossip about the whole, the boys in the neighbourhood, what the boy is doing, his future, is he a useless guy or a smart one, who his friends are, are they drug addicts and how smart Mr. X’s daughter is to be a well qualified doctor and much more. Not just that but men will know how Obama is doing and what Trump is plotting against a country.

The point is yes, men do gossip.”

“Of course they do. When men get around they gossip about their friend or other guys wife who has a strangle hold on her husband.” says Farah Mishala , teacher from Colombo. My husband gossip’s about his friends whom he doesn’t like particularly when someone talks good about them” says Shafiya Zamri college student.

“Yes, it can be said that men also gossip at times. But, according to my personal experience the amount of men gossip is less than the amount women who would gossip. When men get together they normally talk about things such as politics and sports. They also talk about others personal lives and relationships when it affects them. My friend used to talk for a long time about his broken relationship”, says a student from, Polgolla.

Let’s put away the ideology that came out during uncivilised period that ‘women are the gossip mongers’

Let’s stop stereotyping the word ‘Gossip’ and accept the fact that both men and women gossip and its part of human nature in this twenty first century.