Coaching is a constant active process of transformation and creation in which you ask yourself questions, you listen, think, decide and act - and then you do it all over again - as a never ending story.
It is a process in which the coach brings his passion, desires and powers to materialise and maximises his abilities and potential to fully express himself and to achieve extraordinary feats. Self-coaching is something I do all the time. I always think about the content of my mind, listening to my body, and learning from the environment around me – and my reaction, or response, to it.
This is a tremendous boon to driving oneself forwards, upwards and also inwards, to make sure the goals being pursued and achieved are serving the heart’s real desires, for as they say in the industry, “Success without fulfillment is nothing.”
Here are a few suggestions on how to coach yourself. As you read them, you may well come up with other ideas of your own. If so, write them down and make sure you use them. There is strong empirical evidence to suggest that goals that are written down are more likely to be reached.
The more you write about your goals, the greater your chances of success. The more closely you can visualise exactly what you want, the more likely you are to make it happen. This means not just daydreaming but visualising, imagining yourself really in the situation you want to make happen.
There is no point in setting yourself a lot of goals that you think you ought to achieve, if deep inside you actually don’t want to achieve them. If you feel yourself resisting working towards a particular goal, don’t beat yourself up about it, but take some time and space to look carefully at what is happening. Why are you resisting? Is that goal what you truly want? Or what your parents or friends think you would want? It’s a cliché to say ‘follow your heart’ but, in the end, its the only way to be happy.
After you’ve decided what you really want, focus on it. This focus, which is sharpened by writing down your goals, is what will carry you through to success - provided, of course, you remember you are focusing on a future reality that you are in the process of bringing about, rather than on some impossible dream.
The importance and value of positive self-talk cannot be overestimated. If you’re constantly telling yourself you can’t do it, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to overcome this. If you believe you can do it, you can. Again, this is something of a cliché but it’s absolutely true.
Take time for yourself
It’s a common misconception that treating oneself well is selfish. Actually, if you spend too long sacrificing yourself for other people, you’ll find you have very little left to offer them. If looking after yourself seems too self-indulgent to you, remember that you need to replenish your reserves if you are going to be able to look after other people well. And that means regularly taking time for yourself. Take time alone to be quiet.
Take time to pursue activities you enjoy but that may not be ‘useful’ (‘productive’) as such - for example, hobbies, chatting to friends, going to the theatre. Sort out the little things that annoy you about your environment.
Challenge yourself from time to time. If you regularly leave your comfort zone, you’ll find it expands, so that things that would once have scared you, you can now take in your stride.
There is a great deal you can do for yourself. You owe it to yourself and to the world to treat yourself kindly and to fulfill your potential.