The quarantine period amid a pandemic has given us more time to spend with our loved ones in our families. To have them around us in critical situations like this is a great strength, relief, and comfort. While most people seem to enjoy it, some seem to be suffering. Domestic conflicts, violence, and divorce rates are still on the move towards its peak. Sadly, some couples who were married to spend the rest of their lives together decide to get divorced just because they couldn't stand each other and live together under the same roof. It is the time that we should look back and figure out where we went wrong.
"Once there is no compulsion within you, everything that you do becomes conscious, the relationship will become a true blessing, no more a longing or a struggle," says Sadhguru, a Yogi and a Mystic.
He is an internationally renowned speaker and a bestselling author, who raises an influential voice at major global forums such as the United Nations World Headquarters and the World Economic Forum to address issues as diverse as socioeconomic development, leadership, and spirituality. Sadhguru's teachings on love and relationships have touched the intuition of young people and adults.
Living in a technology driven, advanced complex world has altered the nature of relationships. People willingly form relationships to add a positive impact on their lives and, ultimately, they end them with frustration and regret. We can't normalise this situation as it is an everyday occurrence the world over. Since relationships create a considerable impact on shaping your life, we need to look at it carefully and learn what it is and how it works.
What is a relationship, and why do we need it?
"The nastiest situations do not happen among enemies but among the so-called loved ones. Love is your willingness to nurture another life without forming opinions. It is an emotion to be enjoyed without making it work. Emotions are like a flower that you wear on your hair. If you try to extract some life out of it, it is bound to turn ugly", said Sadhguru.
According to him, the willingness to listen to the other person is the foundation of a relationship. If you need to make the other person listen to all your thoughts and opinions, this could put your relationship in a danger zone. People create relationships to fulfil different needs.
They could be emotional, physical, financial, social, psychological or political needs. Whatever the form of relationship, the fundamental aspect is that you have a 'need' to fulfil. If someone says that he/ she only wants to give, it is essential to understand that giving is also a need as well as receiving.
Whatever the purpose that we form a relationship, as long as the expectations remain unfulfilled, the relationship could fall apart. The 'needs' are the circumstances that popped up due to some sense of incompleteness. To experience completeness within is the reason why people create bonds.
Conflicts in relationships
Why do people feel incomplete without a relationship even when their lives are a complete entity by itself? The truth is that human beings haven't explored life in its full depth. Therefore, people have stuffed relationships with expectations and more expectations.
Even if you marry a god or a goddess, they still could fail you. Nobody on this earth could ever fulfill unrealistic expectations.
By understanding the source of expectations, you can form a beautiful partnership. Also, it is crucial to realise that expectations keep changing in one's life to his/ her perspectives, and the changes happen throughout one’s lifetime.
Numerous conflicts occur within the four walls of a home, than anywhere else on the earth. There is no way you could take control of a situation to make things work 100 per cent. Also, constantly trying to fulfil the other's expectations could turn your life into an endless circus.
Seeking happiness in a relationship is more or less like using the other person as the source of your joy. Squeezing joy out of your partner is the main reason why relationships end up in disaster.
"If your life becomes an expression of joy by itself, without pursuing it from relationships, the bonds will naturally be wonderful. You can have millions of relationships and still hold them good. When you are an expression of joy, your company will be cherished and sought by the others around you", Sadhguru said.