Loneliness and aloneness | Sunday Observer

Loneliness and aloneness

16 January, 2022

There is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. Although you wish to be sharing your joy and sorrow with someone, unfortunately, no one is available to be with you.

On the other hand, loneliness is the difference between your actual level of social connection and the level of connection that you desire. Aloneness is the feeling of emptiness and you feel that you have abandoned yourself.

Indeed, it is a heart-burning feeling. According to recent studies, 40% of Americans are experiencing loneliness due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Feelings of loneliness can be subjective and defined by the person who has that experience. Otherwise, it is not practical.

In our country, unlike other western countries there exists a strong family bond. We have our parents and grandparents to talk with. But, we cannot expect most westerners to be maintaining a family bond in their families.

It is because of their culture and restless lifestyle. Therefore, we cannot blame them for not having a strong family bond. However, it would be wrong to say that people in western countries have not even heard of the word “Family Bond”.

Except for that, you might agree with the writer on the point that we could spend a quality time with our parents, children and grandparents at home during the lockdown period.

If regarded from this perspective, lock-downs and travel restrictions can be a blessing in disguise. When you are home-bound, you have enough time for yourself. The time for doing nothing is important for your wellbeing.

New ideas

Most writers in the literature world have come up with new ideas and concepts during their leisure time. When we spend time doing any task, we psychologically and physically get tired. Our main focus is on what we are doing.

As a result, the whole body begins to contribute to the work. That is why we need a rest to relax our mind. But it is not practical for daily-wage earners whose livelihood dries up overnight.

For instance, coconut pluckers, carpenters and vendors. They spend quality time with their children and loved ones in the evening unlike so-called “Posh People” who work from dawn to dusk.

The writer does not mean that we have to follow in the coconut pluckers’ footsteps in terms of family bond. If you fail to find someone trustworthy in your family, the next option is your religion.

If you are a Buddhist, you know that temples are always open to all irrespective of your language, religion, nation, gender and skin colour.

Social connection

Those experiencing loneliness are susceptible to a variety of health issues. When you over-work at the expense of your family bond, you will lose the most important things in your life.

Perhaps, even your wife and husband and children will leave you. Social connection plays a significant role in your life. We should earn money but should not enslave ourselves to the money. We have to take our time off for ourselves.

It does not mean that you are wasting your time. You cannot open your heart to your employees at your workplace. That is why you should be with your family to overcome loneliness.

Adopt a pet

We love to adopt pets. Surely you might have a cat or a dog at your home. Pets such as cats and dogs give you mental relief, altruism and companionship.

When you spend your time playing with your pet, you don’t feel lonely because you can keep your mind in a happy mood. You will feel better in the long run if you regularly engage yourself in physical activities like home gardening.

Social activities

When you are involved in group activities, you can form bonds with many people.

It enables you to avoid loneliness and face challenges with confidence. If you are a creative person, your involvement in such activities will stimulate your skills and creativity.

As pointed out by researchers, some forms of therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you to change your thoughts as well as your actions. Whenever you feel lonely, you should not forget that you are truly not alone and that there are many things you can do to feel more connected. Indeed, we cannot feel lonely because we are with each other in this world.

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