Our life is not full of happiness all the time. We spend our best years in carefree childhood. It is a time when we have no responsibilities, illnesses or sad feelings. Everything is provided to us by our parents. From the age two children develop their motor skills and a little bit of symbolic representation. They also develop their language skills, symbolic and egocentric thinking for up to seven years. In the early childhood up to 12 years, children gradually develop their logical and abstract thinking. As a result, the average child does not come under economic or social pressures.
Males are in the best of health from 15 to 25 years and the age range for females is from 15 to 30 years. It is during this time their muscles are in good shape. Their weight remains at its ideal rate. They are not likely to fall ill during this time. According to Dr Shepard G. Aronson of the New York County Medical Society, this is the best time for both men and women in their lives. This is a time when young men and women fall in love or do their studies quite well. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, women remain healthy longer than men.
Personality is important for success in life. Most psychologists agree that the basic structure of your personality is pretty well set by the age of five. They suggest that important components of personality are inherited. In other words, personality is determined at least in part by your genes.
It is something like your height which is largely a result of genetic contributions from your ancestors. Your personality continues to grow, expand and develop particularly during the 40s. Gilbert Voyat, Professor of Psychology at City University in New York, says, “People begin to re-evaluate their lives in terms of what they are, as opposed to what they might have wished to become.”
However, sensible people do not become embittered and irritable simply because they have failed to realize their dreams. With age most men and women become wiser, nicer and mellow. That is why most elderly people do not get upset at minor issues. They know what is important in life.
Creative period
According to an estimate of psychologist Harvey C. Lehman, we are creative between the ages of 30 and 39. However, much depends on such variables as the field of endeavour and the age at which creative work is begun. Sometimes people ask where creativity comes from.
This again seems to be related to your genes. Most creative people maintain a high level of productivity throughout their lives. For instance, the great inventor Thomas Alva Edison’s highest peak of discovery came at the age of 35 and he remained active and creative into his 80s. It is true with writers as well. They begin their writing career in their 30s or 40s and go on improving themselves even in their 80s.
When will a man or woman earn the most? This is a common question people ask. According to Robert J. Lampman, an economist at the University of Wisconsin, we earn the most in our 40s and early 50s. Certain professions such as law and medicine may not pay off until you reach your 60s. Others who work for monthly payments hit their prime in their 50s before retirement.
Although most people hit their prime in the 40s, some of them begin to question their lives as they enter a period called the ‘midlife transition.’ They realize that life will end at some point and they revisit their past accomplishments when they face physical aging and dissatisfaction with their lives. Some of them experience a midlife crisis.
With such exceptions, most people in this age group view their lives and accomplishments positively. And it becomes a prime and rewarding period. They get more involved in their family matters and social groups with a major development thrust in life.
Surefire test
Some people know when they hit their prime, but others don’t. This is because they see themselves as others see them. One surefire test for self-awareness is a “360-degree” evaluation, where you are asked to rate yourself on a range of specific types of behaviour or traits.
Those self-ratings are checked against evaluations by others you have asked to rate on the same scale. The gap between how you see yourself and how others rate you offers one of the best evaluations of your self-awareness. Robert Burns, the Scottish poet, praised this pathway poetically:
“Oh that the gods
The gift would gi’e us
To see ourselves
As others see us.”
Why do many of us who have enough to eat and drink, a good income and a reasonable standard of living entertain a deep yearning, an all-pervasive feeling of discontent? Even when you hit your prime, you may get such a negative feeling. The celebrated psychologist Abraham Maslow studied a group of healthy people and came up with a hierarchy of five needs as follows:
• Food and drink
• Safety and security
• Love and belonging
• Esteem and
• Self-actualization
When the first four needs are satisfied, you will have an inner craving for something more. Maslow called it self-actualization.
The relationships of self-actualized people are marked by a free-flowing spontaneity and an absence of fear. You may have come across such people who are not afraid to let go, to express their opinions and to experience both the heights and depths of being human. The 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln is one such leader who had all these attributes.
A middle-aged successful lawyer, married to a beautiful woman and having three loving children consulted the psychotherapist Lawrence Leshan. He complained of a severe headache. During therapy to find the cause of his malady, it was revealed that the client’s lawyer-father had insisted that he should become a lawyer like him. His mother had selected a woman for him to marry.
However, from his childhood he wanted to be a musician. Once he tried his hand at music but the income was not sufficient to support his family. Then he continued to practise as a lawyer. Despite treatment his headache was not cured. Shortly afterwards he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. The therapist suggested that he should follow his childhood dream and become a musician.
Eventually he learned music and found a place with a symphony orchestra. For the first time in his life he experienced true fulfillment as a musician. It had a dramatic effect on his health. The tumour gradually diminished and he became a happy man.
Viral epidemic
Today Covid 19 has created a viral epidemic among healthy populations. The Corona virus has gained a sure grip on humanity. Yet in every epidemic it is always seen that some people are only slightly affected by the virus or even not affected at all while others succumb very easily. It is common knowledge that if you are feeling “low” or “run down,” you are more susceptible to an infection. If you have what is called self-actualization, along with other preventive measures, you might be able to keep away from a deadly virus.
If you are fortunate enough to live up to your 80s or 90s, what were your best years? According to Dr. Albert Ellis of New York’s Institute for Rational Living, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide that your problems are your own. You don’t blame them on your mother, your environment, the ecology or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny.” In other words you have hit the prime of your life!