Habit is the enormous fly-wheel of society, its most precious conservative agent. - William James
A Florida woman was so incensed when her favourite cure-all could no longer be purchased without a doctor’s prescription that she went to Washington to lodge a complaint with Senator George A. Smathers. He checked with the Food and Drug Administration and found that the remedy had been banned because it is habit forming.
“It’s not habit-forming!” she cried indignantly. “I know it’s not, because I’ve been taking it every day for 25 years.”
The Florida woman confirms that habits are at first cobwebs, then cables. Your character, basically, is a composite of habits.
The maxim goes: “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action; reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” The maxim shows that habits are powerful factors in our lives.
As they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
Intersection of knowledge
Habits can be defined as the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire. Knowledge tells us what to do and the reason for doing it. Skill tells us how to do it. Desire is the motivation. When all these three conditions are satisfied a habit is formed.
When a new recruit started working in our office, we immediately noticed his ineffectiveness in interacting with others. However, with our friendly guidance he reformed himself and learnt how to deal with others.
Habits have a tremendous gravity pull. Like any other natural force, gravity pull can work with us or against us. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go.
But it is also the gravity pull that keeps our world together. It also keeps the plants in their orbit and the universe in order.
If you look at your own habits, you will realize that there is plenty of room in your life for improvement. You should always try to replace bad habits with good ones.
This is not something difficult to achieve. Dentists always tell us that flossing our teeth is as important as brushing them. If you do not listen to such good advice, you will develop gum problems.
Most of us still do not know the value of flossing our teeth. In developed countries dental floss is freely available. However, I tried to buy a pack of dental floss at a number of leading pharmacies, but it was not available. They said there was no demand for dental floss in Sri Lanka.
Nutritious food
Young people are always advised to eat more nutritious foods – more fruits and vegetables and less sweets. Have you ever prepared a list of nutritious foods you should eat? If you have not done so, do so quickly.
If your refrigerator is full of sweet stuff, you cannot prevent your children from eating them. The availability of sweets is an open invitation to eat them. Fill your fridge with succulent local fruits and let everybody enjoy them.
With the advent of modern equipment such as laptops and mobile phones, we hardly meet people and talk to them.
We have to cultivate the habit of interpersonal communication at home, workplace and in society.
Even married couples have not perfected the habit of talking to each other. It will have a negative effect on their marriage.
We had a colleague who used to criticize everything others did. It is definitely a bad habit.
If you see somebody doing something bad, point it out to them diplomatically without hurting their feelings. For this you have to know how to offer constructive criticism.
When you try to come up with good things, you will begin to feel phoney, like a robot programmed to say nice things without really meaning them.
However, after a week or so finding positive things about someone will come easily. For this, deal honestly with everyone. Treat children and younger colleagues with patience. After some time you will realize that it is easy to praise people without feeling embarrassed.
Healing power of words
When Aeschylus said, “Words are the physicians of a mind diseased,” he was simply emphasizing the healing power of words. “One day you will write your love story which will make thousands cry,” a young lover wrote to “English Rose” - his girlfriend.
Lovers know the art of touching hearts with written words. If you can disappear into the comforting lap of literature, it is a good habit.
Read Keats, Shelley, and Wordsworth cooped up in your bedroom. Recite the poet’s lines, savouring the cadence, rhythm and beauty of their carefully crafted words.
We need to cultivate good habits as long as we live. “Relish the moment” is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 11 8: 24: “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” It isn’t the burdens of today that drive you mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.
Stop pacing up and down in your room. Instead climb more mountains, walk more kilometres, go barefoot in the country more often and swim more rivers. Watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less. Life has to be lived as we go along. We have no deviation.
The true joy of life is the journey. Good habits will make your journey less cumbersome and more joyful. Read and re-read Stephen R. Covey’s brilliant book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” for more inspiration and guidance.
Here are the “Golden Rules for Living” penned by an unknown author:
If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unlock it, lock it up.
If you break it, admit it.
If you can’t fix it, call in someone who can.
If you borrow it, return it.
If you value it, take care of it.
If you make a mess, clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it belongs to someone else and you want to use it, get permission.
If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone.
If it’s none of your business, don’t ask questions.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
If it will brighten someone’s day, say it.
If it will tarnish someone’s reputation, keep it to yourself.
If you can cultivate such sterling habits, you will be an ideal person worth emulating.