Haseefa Hamza always loved stories from a young age which is also how she got into reading. She believes that it’s mostly because of James Dashner.
When Haseefa was thirteen, she read his book ‘The Maze Runner’ and was captivated by its descriptions. Being so young, that was the first time she came across stories of that style. “I used to write it down in a book and kept it in my memory because I wanted to treasure it. And then I thought, “I could do this on my own too”.
Today, thanks to those authors, family and her teachers at Ilma International Girls’ School, Haseefa has now realised that dream. She is now the young author of ‘It Was All A Lie’, a mysterious and intriguing fantasy fiction published by The Jam Fruit Tree Publications.
Apart from writing stories, Haseefa also likes writing poetry, painting and doodling. She recounted how she has also written a fantasy story about twins which was a fractured fairytale.
Two years to complete
“When I go to sleep I think a lot, so there are stories in my head which I jot down in a notebook,” said Haseefa adding, “I think every writer does this. I love psychological movies and I went through a lot of planning for this book, so it took two years to complete this during my AL’s.”
Haseefa explained how all of this actually started with her homework. She did English Literature for her AL’s and she came across a past paper question where students had to write an essay about a forgotten place. She tried writing it but wasn’t satisfied with any of it. This prompted her to open a word document and try something fresh.
“I had a vision. My mom also says I live inside my head more than I live in the real world,” Haseefa said, laughing.
Haseefa explained how people would call certain people mad just because they live in their own world. She asked, how can one ever call them mad? She pointed out how what’s real for us is not real for them and what’s real for them is not real for us.
Therefore, the young author thought about it further and realised that the protagonist of her novel, Evren, is happy in his own world. It doesn’t matter whether that world is an imagination or a hallucination. She was thinking to herself, even if she lives in a world like that, as long as she’s happy, that’s all that matters.
She described how it’s like when you are reading a book, what’s happening is not real but you nonetheless enjoy it.
Haseefa’s writing process is basically waking up at night, opening her laptop and her mom walking in and advising her not to get used to this habit. But she would tell her that it’s the time when the demons would come out. Haseefa did homeschooling for two years for AL’s so she was free most of the time. “I was writing more than studying. But I also thought of it as practice because I did English Literature,” said Hasefa.
Inspiration
“For a book, I would plan and sort it all out. Maybe for my next book I will have a board where I can plan better because that would be even more interesting. I also get inspired a lot by something that pops in my head when I go out. I would type these in my phone or come home and take notes,” she said.
Haseefa outlined how she doesn’t think a lot and how her mind is blank most of the time. But when she does, it’s better when it comes out on paper rather than speaking it out loud. She loves creating characters and her characters in ‘It Was All A Lie’, Evren and Grace are imaginary friends she had in her head.
“I don’t talk to them, they are just there. I have some more characters that I would like to use in my other books as well. I knew their personalities, I just had to put them in the book,” said the author. Ravenscar, the manor, was something the author always had in her head. “I love architecture and wanted to major in it but wanted to do literature as well. I couldn’t choose between the two so I ended up choosing literature. And I thought, maybe I’ll dabble in architecture a little bit. I like creating places in my head. Since I can’t really draw them, I write about them,” said Haseefa.
She recalled how she loved planning the layout of the manor and Oak Wood. She wanted to show how scattered the protagonist’s mind was and how it was not in one place. She explained how even the characters/friends have different personalities which reflect different versions of himself and his masks. Therefore Oak Wood is a representation of his mind. With the seasons, his mind changes as well.
Central figure
Apart from themes such as mental health and acceptance, the author has also explored themes of grief and trauma. Haseefa explained how her mother is a central figure in her life and how she cannot imagine what it would be like if she loses her.
She portrays this sentiment through her main character because after he loses his mother, he doesn’t form bonds with other people willingly, which makes him choose an isolated life even though he has people around him.
Another theme that runs in her book is finding true friends and losing them. Haseefa explained how many people her age face this and how all the friends to whom you were so attached to once all get dispersed after school.
When it came to the mystery, trying to cover up the plot holes was a challenge to the author. “I had the climax planned out already because it popped out in my head but the mystery parts needed to be planned out extensively and a lot of redrafting took place,” said Haseefa.
“I also wanted somebody else’s perspective. Sometimes I tried to get that from my friends but they were busy with studies. And then I had my brother read it, got his feedback and talked to him a lot. I was procrastinating publishing the book because I wanted it to be perfect. I kept re-reading it and was wondering whether I should actually publish it now and whether it was too early to become an author.
“But then I told myself that there is no such thing and convinced myself to go ahead with the publishing process. I wanted to do it before I turned twenty. My mother also gave me the push to take that step,” she said.
Casio
Unleashing her characters and finally giving them a place was the most satisfying part from her entire journey as an author. One of the characters in her book, Casio, holds a special place in her heart.
Haseefa outlined how it was the easiest to write his character because he was her. He is someone who acts nonchalant, very easy-going, and upbeat but at the same time thinks a lot. The author highlighted how people often underestimate him, unaware of the depth beneath the surface.
The completion of the book and the day it got published were both memorable moments for her. Seeing the physical book for the first time was sort of a shock for Haseefa. She couldn’t process the emotions all at once since it was surreal.
Only when she went home did she realise how real this experience was.
“I was really happy when my friends and cousins read it and gave me their feedback. Most of my close friends and family members who read it had to stop midway and process the fact that it’s me who has written it, which was an amazing feeling for me,” said Haseefa. “People can be very creative, you just have to allow them to be so. I also believe that the creator should not second-guess their work,” she said.
Worried
Haseefa herself was worried whether people wouldn’t like it but then she thought that she’ll write this for herself first.
“I want my readers to understand that happiness is subjective,” she said.
“I also want them to focus on living in the moment. Even if you have so many hardships and battles, there would be some point in your life where you would get that adventure and excitement that you’ve been craving for. Because nowadays, it’s the same story for everyone and if you see something differently, you get judged.
“I’ve been fascinated by personalities. People always judge others but I always say, instead of judging their differences, why don’t you want to find out why they think that way? It’s way more interesting. I, myself, crave adventure and when I can’t find it every day, I write about it. If you can’t find adventure, create it,” she said.
Haseefa believes in not holding yourself back and that fear is something we create inside of ourselves. “There’s no reason to be scared because people would judge but then they would forget. There will always be people who support you. So block out everybody else, and focus on the bright side,” she said with confidence.
