Ask Dr.M | Sunday Observer

Ask Dr.M

Love my bestie

Dear Dr. M

I’m having a guy best friend. We are good best friends till now. But today I have started to love him. Sometimes he says he loves me but sometimes he ignores me. I can’t understand whether I’m his bestie or girlfriend. I’m confused. I’m unable to erase him from my mind. I love him that much. Do you have a solution for this????


Dear E.,

Thank you for your mail. It can be great to have a bestie of the opposite sex. You can ‘click’ with each other and share your feelings and experiences. But there are challenges too, when you get so close then strong emotions can develop.

Feelings have to come from both sides in a relationship. So when you open up to your bestie, be aware of the risks involved. If the relationship fails, then most probably you will lose your best friend too. When you are fiends and you become more than friends it’s difficult to go back to being ‘only’ friends. But it can be worth trying it out if your gut feeling tells you so.

From your letter I can’t deduce if you have actually communicated to him that you love him. Is he aware of your feelings for him? It’s very important that you know where you stand with him. What are his feelings for you? Please try to find this out. Also try to gauge your own feelings for him, is this an infatuation or do you really love him? What was the quality of your bestie-friendship and how has he treated you so far? Was it a balanced, equal friendship or was it more one-sided?

Please prepare yourself well for this step. Be aware that that you can be rejected. It can be helpful to talk this over with another friend so you’ll have support.


Ask Dr.M

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